Full Course Description
The Crisis of Trust in Today’s Couples
OBJECTIVES
- Discuss how younger generations conceptualize relationships today
OUTLINE
- Discuss how younger generations conceptualize relationships today
- They are in committed relationships, but not necessarily married
- They are more comfortable having sexual encounters that are usually free of emotional attachment
- The younger generation is waiting later to get married, usually as a way to guard against early divorce. This is especially true among women
- Women are having children earlier in their marriages
- Explain the trends in relationship satisfaction over the past three decades
- Kids drive marital satisfaction down by driving couples apart and creating more conflict
- There is a higher level of education amongst today’s couples and more individual fulfillment for women.
- There is more polyamory today as part of the “hookup culture,” and an imbalance of security with this from one partner
- Women are relying less on wife and child-rearing roles in order to achieve happiness
- Identify the byproducts of open relationships or those based on sex alone
- Partners in an open relationship often feature a dynamic where one partner is a willing participant and the other keeps up a façade in order to please the willing partner
- Noncommittal relationships are partially based on issues with attachment; in contemporary relationships among younger generations, parents’ divorce may play a role
- Even relationships labeled purely sexual/free of emotional commitment contain degrees of attachment. The brain chemical oxytocin is released even during non-sexual physical touch.
Copyright :
26/05/2015
The New Rules of Love: How Couples Are Reinventing Marriage
OBJECTIVES
- Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations.
OUTLINE
- Explain the premise of today’s “capstone marriage” and how it differs from marriage arrangements in previous generations.
- Partners enter relationships as self-sufficient and with their own fully-formed identities Partners’ pre-formed identities are harmonious, but still differentiated
- In traditional marriage, partners pursued goals together, without having arrived at a state of self-sufficiency
- Partners used to get married earlier in life; with the capstone marriage, they’re waiting
- Discuss the new divorce rate trends in the Boomer generation.
- Partners used to date because they were unhappy; today, they divorce because they feel they could be happier
- Partners consider divorce when their needs are not being met, approaching relationships as a costs vs. benefits scenario
- Divorce is a more acceptable concept for Boomers today than a decade ago. One-third of Boomers are either now divorced, widowed, or never married
- Boomers don’t consider age a hindrance to divorce. Even as seniors, they see purpose in divorce
- Identify why community networks are important to the health and survival of relationships.
- In gay and lesbian relationships, mother or father figures are brought in where there wasn’t one previously (for instance, two gay men may have an aunt fulfill a motherly role)
- Communities can give a relationship structural support. Rural areas experience a higher divorce rate than more heavily populated ones.
- People have a need to develop platonic attachments to others in order to find overall satisfaction in their social life
- Putting emphasis on one person as an outlet for social fulfillment can drain a relationship
Copyright :
29/07/2014
Divorce and Commitment in the Age of the Consumer Marriage
OBJECTIVES
- Explain the concept of the “consumer marriage” and how it impacts commitment.
OUTLINE
- Explain the concept of the “consumer marriage” and how it impacts commitment.
- Commitments aren’t followed as closely because people’s personal interests are taken into account first and foremost
- An emphasis is placed on personal economic and psychological welfare
- In many instances where a marriage follows this model and a relationship is suffering, one partner is “leaning out”
- Social networks contribute in large part to the notion of a consumer marriage
- Describe four questions that a therapist might ask while conducting Discernment Counseling.
- “What’s happened to your marriage that’s gotten you to the point where divorce is being considered?”
- “What have you tried to do, individually or as a couple, to repair things so that you didn’t get to this point?”
- “What role, if any, do your children play in your decision-making about divorce?”
- “What was the best time in your relationship since the time you met, where you felt the most connection and joy?”
- Identify how Boomers’ and Generation Xers’ attitudes toward divorce impact those of Millennials.
- Since Boomers and Gen Xers were the pioneers of divorce culture, many Millennials are skittish about marriage
- Lower income Millennials are skipping marriage and having kids in unstable relationships
- Millennials go through a rotation of relationships because of their fear of marriage
- Among college-educated Milliennials, divorce rates are lower
Copyright :
29/07/2014
A Brave New World: The Age of the Millennial Couple
OBJECTIVES
- Identify the three phases Pat says are necessary for women to get what they want out of relationships with men.
OUTLINE
- Identify three steps for helping clients “right-size” their lives with their values.
- Teach clients to live within their means, not try to emulate the idealized lifestyles they see in movies and television
- Ask clients consider who they are, what they stand for, and who they wouldn’t be without particular characteristics
- Validate what the client is saying and write their statements down
- Hold clients accountable to the standards they set for themselves
- Explain the concept of choice fatigue and why it impacts Millennials disproportionately.
- Millennials have more choices than they can manage and greater stress as a result
- Millennials live in a culture where dating websites and apps are prolific, and may repeatedly exit relationships when they think they could find better
- Millennials are delaying marriage because of choice fatigue
- Millennials will need to be more proactive about finding and maintaining a relationship
- Discuss the impact of the cohort effect on Millennial couples and how therapists should adjust their approach with these clients accordingly.
Millennial couples have 24/7 contact with each other in a way no generations did before
- Cohorts of friends become the frame of reference and the guidance system for Millennial relationships, whereas parents once filled this role more fully
- The therapist will need to be a “wise visitor”-more attuned to the culture that Millennial clients are living in
- Therapists cannot assume that their value system is the same as that of their Millennial clients
Copyright :
29/07/2014
Gender Roles in Marriage: How They've Changed
OBJECTIVES
- Explain why polarity and sexual tension are essential to the health of romantic relationships.
OUTLINE
- Explain why polarity and sexual tension are essential to the health of romantic relationships.
- Exciting sex naturally involves a good amount of dominance, submission, and power
- Women like men who do manly things, although they don’t want to be oppressed by it
- Polarity emphasizes clear definitions of what it means to be a man and a woman, in line with predominant social constructions
- “Soft” men are usually seen as less desirable; many women prefer a natural aggressiveness in sexual matters
- Identify the three phases Terry says are necessary for women to get what they want out of relationships with men.
- Daring to rock the boat: being upfront and confrontational about your needs and desires
- Helping him out: teaching your partner how to be your partner
- Making it worth his while: reducing complaining and giving positive reinforcement and encouragement
- Describe three ways in which Millennials have reinterpreted gender roles.
- Millennials are especially gender progressive
- Millennial women aren’t pushing for a worthwhile career, they expect a worthwhile career
- Millennial men are more comfortable performing tasks traditionally allotted for women, such as raising children and doing housework
- Millennial men are more expressive and emotional, attributes traditionally associated with women
Copyright :
29/07/2014
The Monogamy Continuum
OBJECTIVES
- Describe the difference between explicit and implicit monogamy, and why it’s important that partners discuss their definitions of monogamy with each other.
OUTLINE
- Describe the difference between explicit and implicit monogamy, and why it’s important that partners discuss their definitions of monogamy with each other.
- Explicit monogamy is defined as the sort of promises that a couple made at the alter under the guises of what their religion, culture, parents, or community says
- Implicit monogamy is the assumption about how couples actually define monogamy in practice
- It is important for partners to discuss their definitions of monogamy together so that future problems can be prevented and to keep intimate communication going
- Partners should discuss their definitions of monogamy to work together to create healthy boundaries for their thoughts and behaviors
- Identify the three traits that are characteristic of infidelity.
- There is a relationship occurring outside of the marriage
- There is a different kind of sexual experience than typically occurs within the marriage
- There is dishonesty between partners
- Discuss the concept of “split parts” in men and explain how integrating these parts can be beneficial to their relationships.
- Men should bring the many aspects of their life-work, romantic, and fantasy included-into conversations with their partner
- Men have a tendency to compartmentalize aspects of their life
- Men will often feel relieved to know a safe space has been established where they can address topics they were initially afraid to share
- A man’s partner can be a more informed ally in helping the man work toward goals and through problems and insecurities when integration is achieved
Copyright :
08/08/2014
Building Trust, Love and Loyalty in Relationships with John Gottman, Ph.D. & Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D.
OBJECTIVES
- Summarize the basis of stable, happy relationships revealed by research.
- Explain what corrodes relationships, including the four predictors of relationship demise.
- Identify how couples can build trust.
- Describe how repair is critical in all relationships.
- Describe ways how couples can create rituals of connection and create shared meaning.
- Identify ways in which couples can establish loyalty and commitment.
Copyright :
13/06/2013