Full Course Description
Module 1: The 10 Principles of Effective Couples Therapy: What Science Tells Us and Beyond with Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D. and John Gottman, Ph.D.
Program Information
Objectives
- Relate Gottmans’ 40 years of research on the dynamics of couples relationships to their principles of effective couples therapeutic assessment and clinical interventions
- Breakdown Gottmans’ Sound Relationship House Theory as it relates to achieving desired treatment outcomes
- Articulate the principles of effective couples therapy that help to inform the clinician’s choice of treatment interventions
- Summarize the components of a comprehensive couples assessment as it relates to clinical case conceptualization
- Apply clinical interventions that increase couples’ ability to manage conflict, create intimacy, foster fondness and admiration, and create a positive perspective of their relationship
- Teach clients the 5 steps of relationship repair for processing past fights, regrettable incidents or past emotional injuries.
Outline
- What is True About Couples?
- Findings Regarding Friendship
- Findings Regarding Conflict Management
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
- Characteristics of Creating Shared Meaning
- Sound Relationship House Therapy
- Principles of Doing Good Couples Therapy
- How to Assess
- Oral History
- Questionnaires
- Individual Assessments
- Conflict Management
- Exercises
- Love Map
- Open-Ended Questions
- Stress-Reducing Conversation
- Rituals of Connection
- Strengthening Sexual Intimacy
- Creating Shared Meaning
Copyright :
28/03/2015
Module 2: 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy
Program Information
Objectives
- Incorporate researched-based strategies into clinical practice to help couples improve their relationships
- Analyze the strength of couple intimacy and friendship in order to understand how relationship patterns influence love, trust, and conflict management
- Utilize resources and tools to help clients enhance friendship and intimacy in their relationship
- Examine the role of therapist in improving couple interactions and therapy outcomes, including understanding the collaborative nature of therapy, incorporating research findings, and use of interventions
- Provide detailed demonstrations and case studies identifying each of the 10 principles and how to effectively utilize the techniques and interventions with couples
- Summarize factors that contribute to affairs in marriage, and analyze the misconceptions about marital infidelity
- Identify the Gottman 3 step process in treating affairs to improve clinical outcomes
- Describe the implications of the Gottman method of couple’s therapy for addiction, personality disorders, and domestic violence
- Examine how to prevent adverse behavior relapse during and after therapy
- Teach self-soothing strategies to help manage flooding in couples
- Modify treatment strategies for couples who have experienced domestic violence and infidelity
- Explore past hurtful couple experiences to reduce their negative impact and help clients move forward together toward improved treatment outcomes.
- Articulate clinical strategies that aid in reducing conflict in couples
- Facilitate healthy sharing of feeling, active listening, and increased empathy between conflicted partners in session
Outline
Introduction
Introduction to Speakers and their Experience
- Dave Penner interviews John & Julie Gottman
Background
- Motivations for pursuing couple therapy career
- Lessons Learned along the way
- Self-care efforts in work with difficult couples
- Early Gottman research milestones
Overview of Gottmans’ 10 Principles
Principle 1: Use Researched Based Methods for Doing Couple Therapy
The Importance of Research in Couple Therapy
- If you can measure it, You can build it
Common Relationship Myths
Limits to Research on Compatibility
Factors that Predict Relationships
- Predicting Stability
- Predicting Instability
What Couples Fight About Most
Role of Conflict in Divorce Prediction
- Not all conflict is the same
Impact of Loss of Admiration
- Nonverbal indicators of Couple Connection
Domestic Violence in Relationships
- Characterological: No-Guilt Perpetrator & Fearful Victim
- Pitbulls: Flooded Violence
- Cobras: Calculated Violence
- Situational: Mutual minor violence motivated by a share desire for change
New Research on Treating Affairs
Principle 2: Assess First, Then Decide on Treatment
The Assessment Process
- Step 1: Obtain a Narrative for Couple Therapy Goals
- Step 2: Oral Relationship History
- Step 3: Sample Conflict Discussion
Relationship Checkup Online Assessment
Providing Therapist Feedback on Couple Strengths & Challenges
The Value of Assessment Prior to Treatment
- Making Assessment Feeling like Therapy
- Assessments save therapy time
- Assessments help reveal couple strengths and generate hope
Impact of an Affair on the Assessment
Modifying assessment to short term treatment constraints
Relationship Assessment Questionnaire
- Active and Engaged Assessment
* Video Case Study (Mike & Marilyn):
- Marathon Therapy, Oral History
Principle 3: Understand each partner’s world
Determining which partner to see first
No secrets policies
Identifying when Couple therapy is premature
Asking about Domestic Violence
- A nonjudgmental approach to dishonesty
* Video Case Study:
- Individual Focus with Partner Present
Principle 4: Map your Treatment Route
Preparing to Give Feedback to Couples
- Review conflict resolution skills
- Review individual issues they brought into the relationship
When Partners view their relationship differently
When One Partner is engaged and the other is checked out
* Video Case Study: Assessment
- Co-Morbidities
- Affair-related PTSD
Therapist as Holder of Hope
- Humility & Empirically Based Tools
Sitting with the Couple’s Truth
- vs. Changing Couple Perceptions
Giving Feedback to Couples
Sound Relationship House
- Defining the couple’s level
- Identifying couple progress
- Providing tools for help and hope
- Confirming fit with couple’s relationship perception
Duration of Therapy Process
* Video Case Study
- Overview of Atonement, Attunement, Attachment
Principle 5: Soothe Yourself and then Intervene
Two Aspects of Soothing
- Helping Flooded Couples
- Preventing Flooded Therapists
Helping Flooded Couples
- Clinical Role Play
- Increasing Couple Physiological Self-Awareness
- Role of Physiology on Relational Dynamics
- Flooding as Hostility and Helplessness
- Couple Self-Soothing Strategies
- Pause the Interaction
- Designate a Return Time
- Relaxation Exercises
- Lower Heart Rate
Preventing Flooded Therapists
- Therapist Self-Care Strategies
- Model Calmness to Couple
- Utilize Strategic Distractions
Principle 6: Process Regrettable Incidents
Managing Conflict: The Aftermath of a fight or regrettable incident
The Benefit of Processing an Incident to Let Go of the Past
- Step 1: Sharing Feelings
- Listening to each other’s Point of View
- Eliminating Criticism and Blame
- Step 2: Empathizing, Summarizing, Validating
- Step 3: Identifying & Expressing Triggers
- Step 4: Taking Responsibility
- Step 5: Moving Forward
- Doing things differently to avoid repeat experiences
- The necessity of mutuality
Confronting the Barrier of Rightness
- Validation without Agreement
Addressing Unequal Responsibility
Recent and Distant Past Conflict Resolution
Conflict Resolution Modifications
- Infidelity
- Characterological Domestic Violence
* Video Case Study: Attunement
- Domestic Violence Safety Assessment
- Nonjudgmental Care and Concern
Principle 7: Replace the Four Horsemen with Gentle Conflict Management Skills
How to Replace the 4 Horsemen with Gentle Conflict Management
- Background of the 4 Horsemen
- Ratio of Positive to Negative as Predictor of the Future of the Relationship
Power of Emotions
- Not all Emotions are Equal in their Impact
- Empirical Analysis of Which Negative Emotions are the Best Predictors of the Demise of Relationships
- Criticism, Defensiveness Stonewalling, Contempt
Video Case Study
- Introduction to the Couple Steve & Krista
- Contempt: Looking Down on Someone From a Place of Superiority
- Criticism: Attributing a Lasting Negative Trait to Someone
- Antidote to Criticism & Contempt
- Don’t Describe Your Partner; Describe Yourself Using Feeling Statements
- “I feel” and “I need”
- For Contempt, Build a Culture of Appreciation
- Say Positive Things about Your Partner
- Notice What They’re Doing Right
- Be Grateful
Criticism & Defensiveness
- Counterproductive Defensive Responses to Criticism
- Counterattack Criticism
- “You Always, You Never” Criticism
- The Key is to Describe Yourself; Take Responsibility
- Therapist’s Response to Criticism & Defensiveness
- Stop the Interaction
- Point out the Horsemen
- Define The Horsemen
- Discuss the Research
- Provide the Antidote
- Contempt as the Most Corrosive of Love Health & the Best Predictor of Relationship Demise
Gottman Rapport Intervention
- Premise: Postponing Problem Solving, Persuasion, or Advise Until Able to State the Other’s Position
- People Must Be Calm in order to do this
- Speaker Role
- Listener Role:
- Active & Compassionate Listening
- Listening to Understand, Not Prove a Rebuttal
- Goal of conflict Management: Mutual Understanding
- Video Case Study
- Validating is Not the Same as Agreeing
- The Approach is Generally Well Received by Couples
Dreams Within Conflict Intervention
- What is this About for You?
- What is the Existential Core?
- Is There a Childhood Issue/History?
- What is the Purpose or Meaning Behind Your Position?
- Goal: To Understand Our Partner’s Position
- Coaching the Partner to Ask Questions Meets the Goal of Eliminating the Therapist
- Without an Understanding of the Partner’s Feelings; you Won’t have a Full Understanding of Them
- When Dreams are in Opposition
Compromise Intervention
- Video Case Study
- Differences Between Inflexible (Non-Compromise) and the Flexible (Willing to Compromise) Tasks
- Inflexible: The Ideal Dream/Core Need That if you Give it Up, You’re Giving Up Your Identity
- Flexible: The “Who, What, Where, When, & Why” of Making the Compromise Happen
- Sometimes an Inner circle Cannot Be Compromised On
- Topics of Kids, Blended Families, Living in Separate Countries
- May Result in Separation
- Solvable Problems = Compromise
- Perpetual Problems = Making Temporary Compromises & Revising Periodically
Principle 8: Strengthen Friendship & Intimacy
Overview
- Gottman’s Free Love Maps Card Deck Apps
- Downloadable Forms
- Card Decks (Gottman Institute)
- Free apps Containing the Card Decks
Friendship Interventions / What Kind of Friends Are the Couple
3 Components of Friendship
- Knowing Your Partner Intimately
- Fondness & Admiration
- Turning Towards vs. Turning Away From vs. Turning Against
Love Maps
- Video Case Study
- Defining Knowing Who Your Partner is
- How to Use the Love Maps Card Deck
- Partners Answer Different Questions (More Dynamic)
- How to Respond to the Differences in How Well Partners Know Each Other
- Focus on the Dynamic Between Them (Rather than Blaming)
- Range of Depth in Questions
- Reflects the Levels/Complexities of the Partner
- Couple/Partner Resistance to Love Map Questions
- Managing the Exercises: In Session, As Homework, For a Brief Time Before Transitioning to Open-Ended Questions
Open Ended Questions
- Open-Ended Questions App
- Differences Between Love Map & Open-Ended Questions
- Love Map: Introduction, Simple, Shorter
- Open-Ended: Much Longer, More In-Depth Answers, Deepens Partners Knowledge of the Other
- Video Case Study
- Both Partners Answer the Same Questions (More Depth)
- Themes: Emptiness, Happiness, Black & White/All Good or All Bad Thinking
- Good-Enough Therapy
- Therapy as Collaborative Effort
- Couples Bring the Depth to the Therapy Sessions
- Work with the Interventions Based on Research
- Follow Therapist Intuition
- Direct Couple to Talk to Each Other vs. Talk to Therapist
- Healthy Couples Talk to Each Other
- Focus on Talking to Therapist
- When Emotions Do Not Match Words
- When One Partner Becomes Anxious, Stonewalls, or Shuts Downs
- When There is a Turning Away or Turning Towards (Change in Body Posture)
- The Stress Reducing Conversation
- Discussing Stressors Occurring Outside of the Relationship
- Turning Towards/Turning Away
- Overview
- Steps to the Stress Reducing Conversation
- Show Interest by Asking Partner Questions
- Empathize (Making a Statement About Partner’s Feelings)
- Take Your Partner’s Side
- When Partner’s Resist Sharing Their Stress
- Highlight the Human need to Receive & Give
- Identify Where Partner Puts their Stress
Principle 9: Dive Deep to Create Shared Meaning
Overview
Establishing a Stronger Bond
- Doing Things Together
- Establishing Meaning of Those Things
- The Logistics of Making a Ritual (Based on the Works of William Doherty)
Case Study: Rituals of Connection
- 2 Card Decks
- Fun & Play Deck
- Rituals of Connection Deck
- Establishing a Regular Time Where You Can Connect
- Establishing a Time You Can Connect
- Chose a Card to Build a Ritual of Connection Around that also Has Deep Meaning
- How Were Things Done in Your Own Family
- What You Would Like the Ritual to Look Like in Your Family
- What Makes a Ritual Meaningful
- Detailed Specific Questions Regarding How to make the Ritual a Reality
- Rituals of Connection
- Therapists Role
- Manage Therapist’s Emotions
- Stop Any Criticism
Difference Between Creating Shared Meaning & Deepening Friendship
- Friendship is Feeling Safe & Vulnerable Enough to Talk About What’s In One’s Heart.
- Are You There for me?
- Do you Know What I need?
- Do I know What My Partner Needs?
- Creating Shared Meaning Elevens the Relationship to a More Profound Level
- What Makes Your life Worth Living
- May Reflect Cultural, Religious, & Family Legacy Matters
- Reflecting & Sharing Out Loud
- Examples of Shared Meaning
Principle 10: Suspend Moral Judgment When Treating Affairs
Misconceptions About Affairs
- Affairs Happen Because Partner is Searching for Romance/Self-Identity
- Affairs Happen Due to a Desire for Sex
- Happily Married Couples Have Affairs
- The Truth: Affairs are the Result of Loneliness in Marriage
- To Understand Affairs; We Must Understand Loyalty & Commitment
The Stance/Internal World of Therapist
- Take Judgment Out of the Session
- Recognize that Couples Make Choices
- Voice their Discontent
- Shut Down Their Feelings
- Seek Out a New Partners
- Recognize that the Conditions Leading to Affairs are a Series of Steps
- Romance
- Conflict
- Avoidance of Conflict
- Disengagement/Distance
- Have Compassion for Both Partners
- Betrayed Partner May be Suffering from PTSD
- Betrayer Partner Often Has Great Guilt/Shame
Three Step Process for Treating Affairs
- Atone
- Betrayed Partner Can Ask Any Question They Want
- Betrayed Partner Expresses Their Feelings & How They’ve Been Hurt w/o Blaming
- Betrayer Partner Hears Partner’s Feelings
- Betrayer Partner Answers Questions with Transparency
- Betrayer Partner Empathizes
- Betrayer Partner Expresses Profound Remorse
- Attune
- Betrayed Partner Feels Better Because they Understand That Betrayer Partner Does Feel Guilt/Remorse
- Evaluating What Went Wrong
- Conflict Management
- Creating Friendship & Shared Meaning
- Rebuilding Physical Intimacy
- Attach
- Re-committing to One Another
- Identifying How to Preserve the Commitment
- Discussing Consequences Should an Affair Happen Again
Hold the Hope
Helping the Therapist to Hold the Hope for their Couple Clients
- Recognize the Couple’s Resilience
- Note Positive Memories Shared by the Couple
- Know that Human Beings Will Surprise You
- Reinforce Desired Behaviors
- Recognize that Everyone Has Their Own Path
- Ultimately the Outcome of Therapy Belongs to the Couple
Tying It Together
Outline of a Typical Session
- Opening Question (e.g., “How Was Your Week?”)
- Couple’s Response is What is at the Forefront of Their Minds
- Therapist Provides Appropriate Interventions Based on Couple’s Response
Dyadic vs. Triadic Treatment
- Dyadic Places the Emphasis on Couples Talking to Each Other (Duplicates Real Life in the Office)
- Triadic Places the Emphasis on Therapist’s Interpretations & Observations of the Couple
- Exceptions to Dyadic Treatment
- When a Partner is Unaware of How a Piece of Their History is Related to the Relationship Dynamics
- When a Partner is Becoming Emotionally Triggered
- When a Couple is in an Attack/Defend Patterns and Unable to Communicate Effectively Due to Flooding
How to Minimize Relapse
- Discuss Relapse Prevention in Treatment (e.g., “How Can We Make This Last All Week?”)
- Emphasize the Need for Repair Throughout the Day, Week, Marriage
Gottman Approach Appropriateness for Specific Problems
- Addiction
- Very Appropriate
- Couples Work is Sometimes More Effective than Individual
- Only 30% Success Rate Even with the Best Treatments
- Personality Disorder
- Appropriate; Challenging, but Possible
- Be Aware that a Person May be Misdiagnosed
- Empathy Interventions are the Most Difficult
- Requires More of a Triadic Treatment
- Treatment Takes Longer
- Best to Understand Personality Disorders from the Inside
- Gottman Approach is Not Appropriate
- When There is Characterological Domestic Violence
- When There is an Ongoing Affair
- When a Partner is Actively Suicidal
- When a Partner is Psychotic
Cross Cultural Applicability
- Happiness, Factors that Create a Great Sex Life, Emotion Coaching & Nature of Emotions are Universal
- People Need Human Connection
- More Research on the Topic is Needed
Myths About the Gottman Approach
- Behavioral Therapy Approach
- Psychoeducational Approach
- Reality: The Gottman Approach is Emotional, Physiological, Existential, Narrative, & Empirically Focused
Creating Understanding and Expression of Emotions is a Central Feature
Copyright :
07/03/2018